Thursday, 27 November 2008

Groundhog News

What is it with the TV news nowadays that when they're talking about a big story (ie the Indian terrorist attacks) at length, they show the same clip of film over and over and over and over and over and over and over again?

The coverage of the 9/11 attacks was the first time I noticed this - I'm sure they never used to do it before - now they do it all the time.
I'm sure I'm not the only one who is driven absolutely insane by this.

It's the bloody Groundhog Day news!!

Tuesday, 25 November 2008

Disturbed Online Shoppers

My daughter went online today to look at buying a fridge and a sofa.

She went on the web site of a well known retailer and duly found what she was looking for - plus reviews of the products!


Reviews of fridges and sofas!

'Good for freezing peas' (I kid you not) and 'a very comfy sofa. Nice'.

What kind of people are these that review fridges and sofas?

But there was more. On looking deeper I found reviews of kettles: 'boiles (sic) quick', toasters: 'beautiful product!' - there were 62 reviews for one toaster alone!

And I kid you not there were even reviews of coasters: 'they look really good on my table' - what!?

I'm getting worried, there are a lot of disturbed people out there.

I think I'll stay in more.

Friday, 21 November 2008

Barack Obama Smoking

A few people have mentioned recently that Barack Obama is a heavy smoker and also one of the most photographed men on the planet, yet there are practically no photo's of him smoking.

How can this be?

Today I did a search for images of Obama (why do I keep mixing his name up with Osama Bin Laden?) and looked at five hundred of them - and you guessed it - none of them show him smoking.

Is he the real deal then, or just another manufactured politician?

Sunday, 16 November 2008

Zebra Crossings

Do you, like I do, feel a nuisance when using zebra crossings?

Bizarre I know but I imagine the car drivers saying 'oh bloody hell I've got to stop now to let this idiot cross', so I've started not using them.

I've started crossing further down the road and waiting for a gap in the traffic, so I don't make a nuisance of myself.

Am I alone in this?

Friday, 14 November 2008

Children in Greed

It's Children in Need time again.

All week I've listened to on Radio 2 people bidding on 'money can't buy' prizes.

Prizes such as having your lunch cooked by a celebrity chef, or going behind the scenes at a TV show, or playing sport with a famous sportsman, or going backstage at a rock concert, or a spectacular helicopter flight, or guitar lessons from a guitar legend etc etc etc - I think you get the picture.

Well I've listened to this at work this week with my workmates and we're all like 'ooh that would be nice' etc.

Then I thought, here we are the ordinary plebs, listening to probably bloated fat cat rich bastards treating themselves to things we could only dream of and at prices we can only marvel at!

The greedy spoilt bastards!

I know it all goes to a very deserving cause and all that, (I'm obviously not having a go at the children!) but to be honest, in spite of that the whole 'spoil myself greed fest' leaves an extremely bad taste in the mouth!

Tuesday, 11 November 2008

The Living Dead

Whilst out shopping recently I came across quite a few examples of what I believe to be a pretty new species of old human beings.

This species is 'The Living Dead'.

'Zombies', if you like.

'Walking Corpses' also sadly springs to mind.

These people have been saved by and are at the same time the victims of medical science.

I'm not being nasty (well I suppose that I am) but there are so many old people out and about nowadays (and MANY more behind closed doors) who look, and move, like zombies.

Medical science has kept them alive way past the stage that their bodies have given up, but the most ghastly aspect of all of this is that medical science of the body far outstrips medical science of the mind.

And of course what this means is that people's bodies survive (just), enough to go out and move around (slowly) but the brains are fucked!

They shuffle about here and there hardly remembering why they came out of the house and oblivious to all those around them as they block up supermarket isles and the like.

I'm not making fun of these people nor do they annoy me - I feel for them - but I wonder what, for example, awaits me - and my children for that matter.

Will medical science keep us alive for hundreds of years with the body working (just) but with the brain having turned to confused and terrified mush years ago.

This is why I believe there is so much Alzheimer's and dementia - because people are being kept alive longer than their natural lifespan, and of course the body keeps on going but the brain packs up.

I'm not arguing for euthanasia, but just reflecting on a scary and increasingly more common phenomenon that I see around me all of the time.

Friday, 7 November 2008

Savage Toothbrush Packaging

Today my wife bought me a new toothbrush.
It took me a full five minutes to get it out of it's packet!
I kid you not.
The packaging at the front was that hard plastic.
Bullet proof plastic I think.
I couldn't budge it.

The packaging at the back was hard cardboard with a 'cut here' type perforated line.
I couldn't budge that either.
I considered using a scissors to open the damned thing - but I wouldn't be defeated and continued 'by hand'.

After a full five minutes of wriggling, twisting, turning, pulling and squeezing the bloody thing, I finally got into it.

Why the insane Fort Knox packaging on a friggin toothbrush!?
Why can't they just sell them loose?
How would an elderly person open such a thing? (Scissors - I know).

There really is no need, so much packaging and wrapping in the world - no wonder the landfill sites are bursting at the seams!

PS, ever tried opening a shrink wrapped DVD lately?
I've got one I had last Christmas that I tried to open Christmas day, gave up and it's still shrink wrapped now!

Monday, 3 November 2008

Transport Conveyor Belt

It has occurred to me of late that the current main road system in Britain is a bit like a 'Transport Conveyor Belt'.

That is, rather than get in your car and drive independently to your destination, turning here, turning there, overtaking etc, you just firstly wait to 'jump on' to the Conveyor Belt (gap in the traffic) then, at the same speed and (obviously) in the same direction as the rest of the conveyor belt you just drift towards your destination.

You are usually in a cue behind a slow moving vehicle and rarely will there be a time on the entire journey when there isn't a car behind you and in front of you.

I've been on it this morning, and I can tell you that today, the Conveyor Belt is moving slowly.

Saturday, 1 November 2008

Bonfire Weekend!?

It's just been announced on the local TV news that 'we hope you have a safe bonfire weekend'.

What !!

What the fuck is bonfire weekend!

There is a thing in this country called Guy Fawkes Night.

That is on November the 5th. Which this year is on a Wednesday.

Wednesday is not, of course, at the weekend.

Guy Fawkes Night celebrates the foiling of the plot by Fawkes and his Catholic cohorts to blow up Parliament in 1605.

It has traditionally been celebrated in this country (Britain I mean) ON the 5th of November (Remember remember the 5th of November gunpowder treason and plot) by building a bonfire and burning a 'Guy' on the bonfire.

Fireworks have in my lifetime at least been a part of the tradition but now the health and safety Nazis, PC left wingers and big business have taken over.

Having a 'bonfire weekend' (two actually - this week and next) has got to be more profitable for the many big brewery owned pubs who organise fireworks displays.

The health and safety Nazis have pretty much killed off the bonfire element of the night, and the left wingers are carefully and quietly getting rid of the Guy Fawkes bit to suppress British history and culture.

So, Guy Fawkes Night on the 5th of November with all it's historic traditions that have been celebrated for hundreds of years has now been replaced by a left wing influenced corporate sponsored historically sterile Bonfire Weekend.