Saturday, 25 October 2008

Dave's Teeth

Dave's Teeth My mate Dave likes a drink.He likes a drink in the day.

He doesn't go out at night 'too many nutters'.Now the other day a funny thing happened to him after he'd had 'a drink'.
He lost his teeth.

Not his real teeth (he hasn't got any) but his false teeth. The bottom set to be exact, the top set are still intact.
When he left the pub he has it on good authority from the people he cheerily and smilingly waved goodbye to that he did without question at this point in time still have his teeth. Both top and bottom sets.
By the time he'd got home - literally some one hundred and fifty yards away - his bottom set had gone.
He doesn't know how.He just knows that when he got in the house and sat down that his teeth had gone.
He tells me that he sat down and thought 'bugger'.He thought that he'd better go back onto the street and look for the damned things.He thought about this for a little while and then, well, he must have drifted off because the next thing he knew it was dark.

He couldn't go and look for them in the dark (nutters) so he'd go in the morning.He slept in the chair all night and then, dishevelled, in the morning went to look for his teeth.Naturally he couldn't find them.He walked up and down both sides of the road but to no avail.

Someone must have nicked them he thought, but who and why?We'll never know.

So now he's wearing an old set that don't fit properly - he can't afford a new set he assures me, what with the credit crunch and all.

But the thing about this story that really sticks in my mind is the thought of Dave - a middle aged and respectable man - who admitedly likes a drink (or two) during the day - the thought of him leaving the pub in broad daylight and being on the street with shoppers etc bustling past and amongst all of this Dave's teeth fall out of his mouth into the street and he carries on his way oblivious!

I can imagine a passer by witnessing this (as several surely must have), Dave with his sensible clothes and hair and a Daily Express tucked under his arm, they glance at him and his teeth fall out of his mouth into the street and he doesn't even notice.

Strange times indeed.

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